The Bible Says: Marriage belongs To God, Not The State

Marriage Reveals Its True Meaning at Its End

Sometimes, the best way to understand something is to deconstruct it from the end. 

When marriages dissolve, legal courts often reveal the distinction between the civil and sacred realms. In New Jersey and many U.S. jurisdictions, divorce proceedings routinely ask whether the couple had a religious ceremony or merely a civil one. 

That question reveals the law implicitly recognizes that religious marriages and legal marriages are not the same thing. A marriage license is a public document; a marriage certificate is a state record; neither, in itself, creates a spiritual covenant, nor are they sufficient to define what marriage is in the eyes of God.

To approach the topic of defining marriage, this distinction is significant, especially as societies debate the redefinition of marriage. Regardless of how governments legislate, to a Christian, God’s laws remain supreme. The state may incentivize or regulate unions, but it cannot transform what marriage is by divine design.

Modern culture layers new meanings onto marriage, but Scripture defines it as a covenant created by God between a husband and a wife.

Creation, Covenant, and Purpose

Marriage, from a biblical standpoint, is not a human invention.

The first wedding takes place in the Garden of Eden, when God brings together man and Eve. Scripture says:

“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” (Genesis 2:24, NIV)

Marriage in God's sight is no mere social contract. It is a divine covenant relationship, an institution established by God before time and before governing authorities. Jesus restates this order when challenged about divorce in the New Testament:

“So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, let no one separate.” (Matthew 19:6, NIV)

In both Old Testament and New Testament teachings, marriage is a higher standard, not a downgrade, because it serves a foundational purpose: fellowship, procreation, holiness, and a reflection of Christ’s union with His Church (see Ephesians 5:31–32). The marriage bed is to remain undefiled; sexual intercourse or sexual intimacy belongs to the realm of a marital union, within the covenant of a married couple.

Paul the Apostle, writing in the New Testament, addresses Christian believers on the topics of marriage, divorce, and sexual ethics. He counsels that each man have his own wife, each woman her own husband, maintaining purity and stewardship of the physical body in light of spiritual marriage and Christian life (see 1 Corinthians 7).

The definite article in Scripture (“the wife,” “the husband”) indicates that Scripture treats marriage between one man and one woman as the norm. Even Catholic teaching regards marriage as a sacrament; a Christian wedding is not merely a cultural event, but a liturgical act, a worship service, and a public proclamation before religious leaders and the Holy Spirit.

The Historical Shift: Where and When It Broke Down

From Sacred to Civil

Over time, in various ways and across different periods, the position of authority over marriage shifted. Historically, marriage was handled by church leaders and communities. In the medieval and early modern eras, marriage was regulated by canon law, which governed church courts that handled marriage ceremonies, disputes, annulments, and impediments to marriage.

During the Roman Empire, marriage was recognized in civic law, but the church gradually claimed authority to define real marriage in theological terms. After the Reformation, Protestant traditions debated whether marriage was a sacrament, a social estate, or a covenant. Many Protestant reformers argued that God ordained marriage, but it was subject to civil authority when it came to enforcement and registration. issues.cune.edu

The most significant secular shift occurred during the 19th century. States began to require that marriages be formalized by legal procedures, including marriage licenses, civil registration, and sometimes even mandatory civil ceremonies. In England, the Marriage Act 1836 legalized civil marriage, allowing non-religious or different-denomination weddings to be legally recognized. Wikipedia+1

In France, after the Revolution of 1789, civil marriage became the only legally valid kind; religious ceremonies could follow, but had no status before the state. The Tablet+1

With that shift, marriage became a public institution, a contract, a registry, a domain of financial benefits (inheritance, social security, tax status), and subject to state oversight. The civil ceremony and civil marriage began to displace the church’s public role. Wikipedia+1

Over subsequent decades, advances such as fault divorce laws (and later no-fault divorce) allowed dissolution of marriage for legal reasons, weakening the sense of a holy covenant. Societies began treating marriage more flexibly, subject to laws and public policy rather than enduring spiritual vows.

Views, Surveys, and Cultural Data

Divorce and Religious Commitment

Social science does suggest that religious practice correlates with lower divorce rates (though it does not prove causation). One study in demographic research notes that highly religious couples have a lower likelihood of union dissolution. Demographic Research: Harvard researchers also report that frequent attendance at religious services is associated with a roughly 50% reduction in the risk of divorce. hfh.fas.harvard.edu

Analysis of Pew Research’s Religious Landscape data shows that 26% of divorced or separated adults identify as religiously unaffiliated, suggesting connections between lower religiosity and higher divorce incidence. Pew Research Center

In terms of Christian divorce specifically, some sources estimate 20–25% of Christian marriages end in divorce. myhoustondivorce.lawyer Others argue the oft-cited “50% divorce rate” is outdated and misapplied; actual rates may be lower when controlling for variables like age, cohabitation, and religiosity. GotQuestions.org+1

Regarding interracial marriage (or mixed religious marriage), research suggests such unions are statistically more vulnerable to divorce, possibly reflecting greater cultural or religious conflict. For example, a study found that a Jewish–Christian marriage had a 40% chance of separation by five years, versus 20% for two Christians. Jewish Women's Archive

These numbers do not settle theology. But they show that in societies where the Church had less authority or where secular values dominated, marriages often experienced greater instability. The weakening of the covenant view and elevation of contract may contribute to relational fragility.

Effects of the State’s Role on Marriage

Dilution of Vows and Redefined Roles

When governments legislate definitions of marriage, including same-sex marriage, they shift public perception: marriage ceases to be solely a divine covenant and becomes a variable civil contract subject to alteration. A marriage license recognizes a new relationship, and the marital union becomes contingent on law rather than vows.

This shift has ripple effects:

• Marriage ceremonies now often stress legal formalities (signing a contract) rather than worship or a sacred vow.

• The public position and social prestige of Christian weddings are in decline.

• Many couples see marriage as a legal protection or social service contract rather than a spiritual commitment.

• The state’s power to dissolve marriage via fault divorce or no-fault divorce undermines permanence.

Because the state controls the legal benefits (such as spousal rights, taxation, inheritance, and spousal support), it gains leverage over marriage definitions. The state can define “marriage” in statutes, for example, to include same-sex marriage, thereby constraining the freedom of religious institutions to dissent or refuse recognition.

When marriage becomes primarily a legal institution, families lose an anchor in divine truth. Some couples view commitment as optional. The church leaders lose influence over moral formation. The result is an increase in broken relationships, moral ambiguity, and relational instability.

Balancing the Roles: Civil Protection vs Sacred Covenant

What Civil Law Can and Cannot Do

From a neutral vantage, civil governance has legitimate interests in ensuring public order, protecting minor children, distributing financial benefits, regulating inheritance, and addressing domestic abuse. In that sense, the state offers legal protection, legal marriage, or civil unions as mechanisms to secure rights and responsibilities.

But civil law lacks the capacity to enforce spiritual fidelity. It cannot sanctify a union or guarantee covenant faithfulness. The governing authorities can only adjudicate contracts, not bless souls. They can penalize breach of contract, but not guarantee that the marriage bed be kept undefiled.

Thus, some propose a clear separation:

• The Church (or religious community) administers true marriage — the covenant relationship before God — through wedding ceremonies, pastoral oversight, discipleship, and Christian life formation.

• The State governs civil marriage or civil unions — granting legal benefits, managing registration and licensing, and adjudicating legal matters.

In that scenario, individuals who have already married in a church would still be required to sign a marriage license (or register with the state). Still, the state could also grant civil unions to couples (same-sex or otherwise) that provide legal protections without invoking the covenant name.

This respects both civil order and religious freedom. The state secures property rights, tax status, and spousal benefits, while churches retain the prerogative to define Christian marriage as they interpret God’s Word.

The Role of Church Leaders and the Body of Christ

Religious leaders have a stewardship role to articulate and teach the meaning of marriage, to officiate wedding ceremonies, to guard doctrine, to counsel struggling couples, and to offer a vision of real marriage rooted in Christ-centered marriages. In past times, the Church held significant authority over marriage law through canon law; today, that authority is largely cultural and moral rather than legal.

Churches must discern how to operate in diverse societies without surrendering the position of truth. In modern affairs of this world, many couples no longer view a Christian wedding as mandatory or normative; instead, civil ceremonies are the default, and churches are asked to bless something already recognized by the state, regardless of theological coherence.

The tension extends to younger widows, new marriages, remarriage, and marrying in the Church after a civil divorce. Many denominations retain rules for annulment or canonical divorce, citing that God has appointed boundaries.

Additionally, Catholic teaching maintains that marriage, once validly bound by the Church, cannot be dissolved solely by civil law. Catholics may seek an annulment (a declaration of nullity) rather than a new marriage while the previous remains binding in conscience.

Church leaders, therefore, must protect the integrity of the sacred covenant without lapsing into coercion or legalism, presenting both truth and grace.

Toward Coherence: Two Realms, One Truth

By tracing the historical shift from covenant to contract and observing how civil authorities now define, license, dissolve, and regulate marriages, we see how the institution of Marriage is often overshadowed in modern society. When legal marriage supplants true marriage, troubles follow.

Yet it is possible to maintain balance:

• Recognize that states may issue marriage licenses and register unions, but that such recognition does not redefine the nature of spiritual marriage.

• Affirm the purpose of marriage as companionship, procreation, holiness, and covenant fidelity — grounded in Scripture, not in legislative whim.

• Encourage couples to undergo Christian weddings, guided by religious leaders who teach vows rooted in God’s Word, not mere legal formalities.

• Support the idea that civil law may grant legal benefits or civil unions to protect vulnerable parties, but not claim authority over the marriage relationship as defined by Christian doctrine.

• Press the Church to reclaim a public position on marriage, giving witness, pastoral care, and moral formation in a pluralistic world.

In that vision, we do not demand that every citizen accept Christian definitions, but we do insist that the state not redefine what God defined. The state can regulate public order, but it cannot legislate the truth of a covenant. Marriage ceremonies remain more than symbolic; they reflect a deeper spiritual marriage that the Church is called to uphold.

The Bottom Line: The Church’s Biblical Position on Marriage

The Bible presents marriage as a sacred covenant established by God between one man and one woman (Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:4-6; Ephesians 5:31-32). It is designed to reflect Christ’s covenant with His Church and therefore stands as a divine ordinance that no human being or government can redefine.

Civil authorities may recognize unions for the sake of legal rights or social order, yet these are civil contracts, not the biblical marriage described in the Word of God. For a church that desires to remain faithful to Scripture, participating in or officiating unions outside of God’s design would misrepresent the truth it is called to uphold. Attending or witnessing a wedding signifies public approval of that union, so believers are urged to consider whether such participation aligns with their confession of faith.

Scripture calls the Church to maintain both truth and grace. Followers of Christ must show respect, compassion, and kindness toward all people, including those whose relationships differ from biblical teaching. However, love never requires agreement with what contradicts God’s revealed will. Supporting or celebrating relationships that depart from the pattern set by God substitutes personal preference and emotion for obedience to His Word.

The Church’s responsibility is to stand on the side of biblical clarity without hatred or prejudice. Its purpose is not to condemn but to witness to the goodness of God’s design and to invite every person into reconciliation and redemption through Jesus Christ. By doing so, the Church honors the Creator’s intention for marriage and preserves the integrity of the covenant He defined from the beginning.

Sources

Scripture References

• Genesis 2:24 – The divine creation of marriage: one man and one woman becoming one flesh.

• Matthew 19:4–6 – Jesus affirms marriage as instituted by God and not to be redefined by man.

• Ephesians 5:31–32 – Paul compares the marital covenant to Christ’s relationship with the Church.

• Hebrews 13:4 – The marriage bed should be honored and kept pure.

• 1 Corinthians 7:2–3, 29–35 – St. Paul’s teaching on devotion in marriage and singleness for the sake of the kingdom.

Historical and Doctrinal Context

• Catechism of the Catholic Church, §§1601–1605 — Marriage as a covenant instituted by God.

• Westminster Confession of Faith, Chapter 24 — Of Marriage and Divorce.

• John Stott, Issues Facing Christians Today (Zondervan, 2010).

• Timothy Keller, The Meaning of Marriage (Dutton, 2011).

• R.C. Sproul, Essential Truths of the Christian Faith (Tyndale, 1992).

Sociological and Cultural Studies

• Pew Research Center, Marriage and Cohabitation in the U.S. (2020).

• Harvard Human Flourishing Program, Religious Service Attendance and Divorce Risk (2018).

• Demographic Research, Religious Service Attendance and Union Stability (2021).

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